As with any string based instrument; i have learnt that my sitar is a great instrument which needs true mastering of its staffs and cords... it's really hard to play the sitar... especially the tuning part... i have broken at least 3 strings on it already...

LIFE is about tuning... you get a body and a mind and you are supposed to tune both... get that right, somehow; and you are supposed to tune your mind with another similar one, that we can call our lover... get that right and we are supposed to tune our minds with our children... etc...

All the while... time passes you by, and is the greatest determinant of what your future is supposed to be like... the more obsessed you are about getting the note right; the more time it takes; the more effort it takes and even sometimes... the string breaks....

My tarot is that of a joker;

Correspondingly, this first card of the major arcana (the 22 archetypal trump cards of the tarot), references potentiality, innocence, curiousity, risk-taking, stepping into the unknown—in alchemical terms, the turning of nothing into something. The joker is said to not belong to him or herself, s/he is a being possessed.






THere's a saying... everything is in the hands of God... so i keep on hoping though... but what you send out... is what you get in return...
False hope is a very dangereous thing to give... even in the scriptures... we are commanded to honour our word...

THAT word also means the words we type on the net... STICK to them... otherwise... don't say them... !!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I meet the most wonderful woman ever (i can say using online measures) we talked alot but all the time there was something a miss. The physical longing to be with each other...

Can that single thing be the ruin of a great relationship... i find it hard to believe it though... the curse, i guess of time and space... and everything in-between...
I found this article that helps me see what my position was in our relationship...  its from :

Romanceopedia.com


it says...:
Being Lonely or Being Alone...
-
   There's a difference between being lonely and being alone.
   Lonliness is the result of having come out of a long-term exclusive relationship and finding yourself feeling overwhelmed by a sense of alienation.  No longer able to enjoy the friendship, companionship, and the intimacy of being with someone on a regular basis, you feel like a mathematical anomoly; divided by two when alone and multiplied by three when at a social function.  Nothing feels right.  From the first waking moment of the day to that moment when sleep takes over, being alone in a bed is not as comfortable as it would seem to be.
    Aloneness is something else.  There comes a time when, having passed through the in-between time of being lonely, you adjust.  Some of the positive factors concerning singlehood have been realized.  Life begins to pick up again.  Eventually, you begin to get out again.  As you get to meet other single people, natural selection begins to exert itself and dating becomes a part of your life again.  As you get to know where other singles your age spend their time socializing or take advantage of some of the better Internet singles search sites, you find yourself wondering when you are going to have a weekend night off just to have some alone time to yourself.  No longer lonely, you have come to terms with being alone.
    Of course, the idea here is that the hope of finding someone special should not be extinguished just because you now enjoy your newfound freedom and independency.  On the contrary, this is a time to grow and stretch--to rediscover yourself and to perhaps even to reinvent yourself.  For those who are determined to eventually find someone with whom they can share a deeply fulfilling and loving relationship again (or maybe for the first time), this in-between time can be the best time of all.  While working on getting rid of your old baggage, you will now have time to really decide what you want out of life and what you can offer to another person.
    Having journeyed through lonliness, you have found a comfort level in being alone.  You're going to be okay.  In fact, you can even be happy.  Perhaps you will find love again.  It might find you.  You are not driven to need it as you were when overwhelmed by lonliness.  You're in control of yourself now and, as a result, are finally ready to truly fall in love again.


I guess i was the guy in bold... but i have hope...


Be patient.  Give yourself some time to really get over your previous relationship.  Get rid of the old baggage.  Rediscover yourself and your life again.  Adjust to being alone. Then you will be ready to find love and experience it like never before. You can have it all if you really want it bad enough.



Here's to really wanting it bad enough... and to have patience... it really does fruit; for the God that resides in You; in Me... i have hope that HE cares for His Children's Happiness.